


Despicable

by krixxm



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, and cave is an idiot, caroline is sick of caves shit, like the hatred runs deep here, seething angst, this was a tumblr prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:28:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25969708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krixxm/pseuds/krixxm
Summary: “Ghosts don’t have shadows, Caroline.”Cave Johnson is the stupidest man alive.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Despicable

Today was the day Aperture Science Innovators had a second chance at life. Third? Fourth? Caroline lost count how many times this crumbling shit-hole almost gave in for good. They were $82 million in debt. “Million”, she thinks. “M-i-l-l-i-o-n”. She wants to ask herself “how did we get here?”, but she knows the answer all too well; and it rested steadily between pending lawsuits, failed projects, and useless inventions. And it was all at the hands of Him. God, He was stupid.

She has a doctorate. 2 masters. A bachelors. If you looked up the word “intelligent“ in a dictionary, her name would appear right beside it. He, on the other hand, had nothing. A college drop out. He was actually on course to graduate with a BFA; He did love theater. The drama of the stage spoke to Him; called His name. But when the professor assigned the task of reading Hamlet forward and backwards, then write an entire report on the difference between the two, He walked out. Cave Johnson had no time for nonsensical reports on ghosts and dead bodies. He never believed in “silly shit like that”, as His father would call it. 'Thank god that bastard is dead', He often thought. He never loved His parents. He’s never loved anyone. Love is overrated.

The two fit perfectly. A match made in hell. She stuck with Him through countless meetings, court dates, hiring and firings, and on one occasion, a night in a jail cell. “Thank god he’s so charming”, she often thinks. 'Thank god she’s still here', He thinks exactly once. But here, today, right now, the only thing on both of their minds is saving their company.

At least they have that in common.

Today’s meeting was with some fresh-out-of-school know it all. The kid sounded pretty smart on the phone; quick witted and patient. He wanted to invest in them. He arrived two minutes late, though. Caroline made mental note of that. Cave didn’t even notice. He never notices anything like that. He usually lets her take the lead on big meetings like this. He might have charm, but she’s got her own talent when it comes to winning a crowd over. Folders containing various company files and plans were tucked neatly into her arms; waiting to be opened. She had to admit, she loved doing these meetings. It was the one time He really let her take control. And while He’d never admit it, He loved sitting back and watching her shine. The kid introduced himself as Brian McCormick; says he’s from a few towns over. “Ya’know, my father always told me stories ‘bout this place. Always dreamed of gettin’ a job here. He passed when I was young, though. A real shame. Anyway, ya mind gettin some coffee for the big man and I, miss?”. Caroline froze. She hasn’t been called “miss” in 13 years. “Pardon me?”, she replies. Cave lets out a hearty chuckle from behind his desk, “You heard the kid Care-bear; it is pretty early in the morning! We can wait right here for ya”.

“Care-bear?”, she thinks. What the fuck is wrong with Him? She looks at the clock. It’s only 7:32 in the morning. “Are you kidding me?", is what she wants to say. “Of course” is what she says instead. “Actually, Mr. Johnson, I'm not feeling too well right now. I think I'll sit this one out." She wanted to chuck those folders straight through His neck. She set them down gently on Cave’s desk; face red and eyes wide, and walks out. She gets halfway down the hall before she hears His door slam shut.

She never got the coffee. Instead, she went to the lab. She enjoyed overlooking the chaos. Years ago, she applied to be a tech. Years ago, she bit a bullet and took the assistant position. Years ago, she loved this job. And years ago, that love shattered. Who needed love anyways? Love is overrated. A construct. Something we tell ourselves is real in order to forget the horrifying reality that everything, everywhere, is awful. Constantly, consistently, and continually awful. She ended up lost in thought; Caroline spends a lot of time thinking. She has no idea how much time has passed before Henry tells her she’s wanted in His office.

“Close the door behind you”, is all He says. Neither of them look at each other. She stands, arms folded defensively across the room from Him. Minutes pass like years pass like seconds. “What the hell was that?” He asks. “Care-bear?” she responds immediately. “I should ask you the same thing, Cave”. “Oh, we’re on a first name basis now”? She stares at Him. He blinks. “You’ve never called me anything but. First name basis seems pretty damn fair to me”. “You made me look like an idiot, Caroline. He walked out on us-“ “He walked out on you.”, she interjected. “Do not involve me in your messes. Do you even know my last name anymore?"

Cave Johnson is a man of confidence. Scared of nothing, proud of everything. Founder and CEO of Aperture Science. Son of Bridgette and Charles. Husband to no one, father to none. Cave Johnson, shower curtain salesman title holder, science company of the year runner up. A silver tongued smooth talker with a crippling drug addiction. He holds all the aces; and he is one stupid, rotting piece of shit. And in this moment; this one, small moment-his mind goes blank.

And he is terrified.

“Twenty three years, Cave. Twenty three years I’ve played lap dog. The pretty assistant who does your dirty work. I know every single god damn project this company has ever produced, has ever worked on and has ever thought of and you can’t even tell me my last name”? She slowly makes her way towards his desk. He, is staring blankly at an empty coffee mug from yesterday. “WORLDS BEST BOSS”, it says. She gave it to him for Christmas one year. “Not to mention, you’ve spelled my name wrong since I started”. This catches him off guard. He glances up, finally locking eyes that are shooting daggers straight through his skull. “What?” Is all he can manage. Silence. He blinks, “C-a-r-o-l-i-n-e. Caroline”. She laughs. “C-a-r-o-l-y-n-n. Carolynn”, she retorts, smile dripping with poison. “I never said anything because I knew you wouldn’t be bothered to care. I’ve signed legal documents with my own name spelled wrong for 23 years all because you’re too busy to notice anything that isn’t about you”.

“You know me just as well as a ghost knows its own shadow”.

He pauses. “Ghosts don’t have shadows, Caroline”.

What a fucking idiot.

As if on cue, he gasps. Did he really just fall for that? Cave Johnson, greatest man alive, most hated man in Michigan, actually fell for that? “You know Cave, I used to love this place. The science. You.”, she says, turning towards the door. His heart stops. “Don’t finish that thought Care.” Is what he wants to say. “Don’t leave me” is what he wants to say. “I’m sorry,” is what he tries to say. Silence is what comes out instead.

“Love is overrated. I’ve never needed it anyway.”

And with that, Cave Johnson is alone is his office again.


End file.
